Waiting… one of the most dreadful feeling when I am expecting for the result of something that is either good or bad. A nostalgic feeling for me because I felt the very same thing when I was waiting for the result of my college entrance exam, result of my baby-thesis and calls for job interviews. Waiting creates butterflies in my stomach and I cannot think of anything else because no matter how hard I divert my attention it constantly pops in my mind stressing me out all the more. Like a virus, it infects the entire affairs of my life like how I deal with the people around me even to my closest friends, my performance in my work until I go to sleep in the late hour of the night. What makes it worse is when I see one by one the people around me are getting positive outcomes leaving me in the waiting room all alone with my thoughts while I hear them rejoicing.
The first few days of February is known to be the month when lovers’ celebrate romance and love with matching flowers and chocolates. But for some most especially for non-permanent teachers like me it is also known as the season of renewal. Spiritually it may also be considered as renewal of our relationship with God the Father because its marks the beginning of Lenten season but in my case, in a more specific case it’s the time when teachers wait for the letter from our high school principal. Even if its February what we wait for is not a love letter. Its the letter that invites us again to become a member of the faculty. The letter started coming out around the early days of February. What makes this event very much important for me is because this is my very first job since I graduated from college last year. Heart and soul I really poured out all my efforts to prove not only to the institution but to myself that I am worthy to become a teacher. Not only academic wise but also as a role model to my students. I do not intend to be seen by them as a holy person but at least I wanted to earn their respect and so as of my colleagues.
The most important day of my career as a bona fide teacher came today. I finally got a call from the secretary of our principal that I was being called by her. Suddenly all feeling in my body stopped and my hands were very cold. She greeted with a smile until she finally said that I was renewed. I felt a constant rush of joy and all the anxiety and uncertainties I felt were eliminated. I felt dignified and honored. Indeed there is a virtue in patience. The long waiting suddenly became a fun memory that I can laugh off while I told myself maybe sometimes the best is saved for last. This is not to be boastful but to at least give myself a consolation for the long dreadful days I have waited for the news to come
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