Deal-emma, Dilemma

According to some surveys the age of people who undergo mid-life crisis are getting younger these days. So i guess a more appropriate term would have to be "quarter life-crisis," I should know because i believe I am going through one at this point in time of my life. I thought that being aware of it would be a healthier thing to do rather than to conceal it and pretend that everything is fine. Although in my heart I am hopeful that eventually things will turn out fine.



Two years ago i had been diagnosed with "alopecia areata." It is a kind of disease that results in the loss of hair in the scalp. My dermatologist said that this is due to 'psychological stress' which attack my immune system resulting to hair loss.
Considering what I went through this year, yes I guess I really was stressed out. I had to pass through a needle hole before i graduated (in Filipino language lumusot sa butas ng karayom), I was not admitted to law school (which I had prepared for my whole life) and I dealt with some emotional set-backs with family-life, love-life and friends. When I saw that my hair was slowly falling leaving a patch above my forehead I was devastated. I was really afraid. I am the kind of girl who gives value to her crowning glory and nothing can be more stressing than thinking that I might actually become bald.

But this did not stop me from living life with much enthusiasm and optimism. After some time I thought that God would not give me a challenge that He knew I could not handle. He (God) was right because after a few treatments (which came in the form of injections along with topical treatments) my hair was back to its full volume along with my drive and self-esteem. The dermatologist said that aside from my treatments, my positive disposition helped lessen the hair fall and make my hair growth faster. I keep telling myself that being 21 is still a very young age and I still have my whole life ahead of me. Instead of being so disappointed of what I was not able to achieve, I should look ahead and see what I can still do. In fact, being in my 20s is more fun than being a teenager (although some people might disagree) because now I have control of my life. I can no longer blame other people for the outcome of my decisons in life because legally I now have to deal with my own dilemmas which i shortened to "dealemmas" (Should I get a patent for this? hehe just kidding). I should never let stress put my health at risk again. Instead of always worrying (which causes more wrinkles by the way) I should be excited and enthused with the challenges ahead. Because of this, I thought of coming up with a symbol or an icon that I can identify myself with. An object of inspiration that I can resort to when I am feeling down and stressed out. Being a woman that I am who is very attached to her feminine side I suddenly thought of a flower, a sunflower.

Because a sunflower may not be the most beautiful flower in the world but it has a glow which no person could miss. It is kind of flower that deserves a second look. It is not sensitive, it could withstand the heat of the sun for a long period of time. It stands tall but its roots remain firm on the ground. After the summer, the flower disappears but not for long because when the month of May comes, after it takes it rest it blossoms again bringing joy to everyone who will see it. Similar to my case perhaps, I have rested myself from the stress, from the treatments, from the anxiety. I am ready to blossom again. A little bruised but more stronger and less afraid.

Aside from this, If there is anything that I would like the people I have met or even just acquaintances to remember me by would be my smile. Not because I have one like Monalisa's nor one like Julia Roberts' (one of my favorite actresses) but because its sincere. It is evidence of the undying hope I have in myself. The hope that even though I was not able to fulfill all the plans I have in my life, I did not miss the chance to live. When I smile more I can feel that I bring warmth and joy to people whom I smile at and in return I feel glad and joyous inside as well. Who would ever want to be smirked at or frowned at? Smile is really very therapeutic most especially if its from the heart.

With this new philosophy I have in life, I can say that I feel much lighter and less burdensome. I can walk the long road ahead of me now with a smile on my face geared with my own word "dealemma" which means dealing with my own dilemmas. Yes, I am ready and I so excited with what ever there is that life has in stored for me (",)