A couple of years ago, I wrote an essay about 'beginnings', about starting all over again. How anxious I was to leave my comfort zone in order to pursue my destiny. Now I think it's time to write a continuation of it, to talk about pushing through, staying, keeping constant, hanging on in order to finish what I have started. The word "continue" being the operative word or more appropriately 'persistence'.
Ideally when you are very passionate about something, your enthusiasm and optimism is soaring high but just as anything that diminishes with time or goes down with gravity there comes a time when your overflowing zeal will become constant. That gap or space in between the time you've started and that space towards attaining your goal. Things do not always go smoothly, sometimes challenges can overwhelm you, sometimes you'll meet people who'll make things harder than you can ever imagine and then you'll find yourself in the brink of either giving up or to just leave things hanging to begin a new start because you quench for that passionate zeal you have when you have just started.
That feeling deep within you where the flame has gotten tepid not dead but just warm or even cold. You feel drifting or floating nothing seems to be ever new but you know you still have your eye on the prize. During this time one thing comes very importantly, to me that is no longer HOPE, hope remains there, it was there from the very beginning but now FAITH comes to do it's job. Faith is that kind of belief and principle that you strongly believe in something without demanding proof. It is that faith you have in yourself, in your capacity to finish it, the faith that people have in you and most of all faith that God is with you all the way.
When I decided to leave teaching in order to pursue law, it was a kind of a daredevil act, I have placed a lot of things at stake although financially it was something my parents prepared for beforehand but it would be a very long financial engagement for them, I needed to quit teaching for the meantime, put my Master's on hold and it also threatened a lot of my relations. A lot of things were sacrificed, not that I was complaining but slowly I can feel that things are getting heavy and heavier because I knew I was really working on it.
One thing I realized at time you reached this point as you are on your way to reaching your goal, there is no need to start a new or to quit on it simply because nothing seems to be happening but one this is certain, you may take a 'REST.' A time to reflect, to assess and to calculate how much you have already put in, how much time is still necessary? to patch up on damaged relations and to pack up self-confidence once again. Sometimes when we focus too much we lose the joy on doing things, we get disgruntled, blame people, blame the circumstances, or even God, we tend to neglect our relationship with Him. We often ask why me? I work hard, why not others who don't even want it as much?
When we have ample time for things, it is the only time we get to value the things that we have, even the smallest and lightest of it, to enjoy nature and little blessings that come our way. We realize God does not give us challenges we cannot handle, and if He gave us something that we think is too much for us to handle, then it must mean that He has great confidence in us.
After taking some rest, I know in my heart I am more than willing to continue, to push through to finish it. I am very thankful to all the people who kept their faith and most importantly to God, this month will be a very big month, thesis-defense and by June I am back to law school and teaching at the same time. It is my first time to teach in the tertiary level. After a long pause, I am very excited to share the knowledge I acquired from being a student of History while pursuing law at the same time. I am very eager to learn more, to earn a little, to feel useful.
There truly is a virtue in waiting. Now it is time to get up on the waiting area, to stretch some muscles, to sweat, to analyze and to think. Soon enough, in God's time I will get there.
“Patience, grasshopper," said Maia. "Good things come to those who wait."
"I always thought that was 'Good things come to those who do the wave,'" said Simon. "No wonder I've been so confused all my life.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass