About Me

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Olongapo City/ Subic/ Quezon City/Alabang, Central Luzon/ NCR, Philippines
Mom. Wife. Teacher.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Lumbay ng Puso



Paano mapapawi ang pighati?
kung ang damdami'y dama ang sidhi
Mga mata'y nanangis anumang pagkukubli
Sa kabila ng mga ngiting gumuguhit sa labi


Paano matatahan ang pusong nanaghoy?
Kalungkutang sa puso'y dumadaloy
Unti-unting paglubog sa kawalan ng kumunoy
Ang pasakit, hirap at poot ay nagpapatuloy


Paano maiibsan ang nadaramang pagod?
Sa buong katawan at puso'y humahagod
Sa buong pagkatao'y siyang bumubuod
Pumapawi ng sigla at lakas ng tuhod


Paano muling bubhayin ang pusong nawalan ng sigla?
Kung ang dating alab nito'y unti-unting nawala
Napalitan ng lumbay, lungkot at tuluyang pagkasawa
Ang dating magiliw na pagsunod, wala na nga't wala


Pusong nalipasan ng gutom sa paghihikayat at pag-unawa
Naubusan ng pangarap, nilisan na ng pag-asa
Pusong nanlamig, pusong wala ng sinta
Kung ialay pa rin sa iyo ay para saan pa?

Holiday with 1-A Goddesses!





As a late celebration of my birthday, my fabulous girlfriends Thea, Kring and I decided to get together at Atrium in Mega mall, it was a long and fun lunch at Amici. Warming up the conversation was effortless, it's like we were sisters separated from birth.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Sunday, November 27, 2011

25 Years and & 7 Days of Solitude- Alone at Eastwood One Sunday Evening

Solitude is a gift wrapped in inner peace in this strident and worldly environment... what better way can there be to restore oneself than in moments of solitude... :)





Saturday, November 26, 2011

Saturday with Girlfriends :)

What can be a better way to spend a saturday than with your beautiful girlfriends! so happy to see again Myre Visperas, Dimpy Diokno Peralta and Ate Fashionico Parlorista, our boyfriend(s) Patrick, Myre's Bal and Dimpy's Deo are just bonuses haha, peace guys! till next time :)










Thursday, November 24, 2011

Subic to Manila via SCTEX







View from the bus via SCTEX Subic to Manila :) lots of blue and green because our route will be via sctex there will be no more stop over in San Fernando, Pampanga, it will be a long but straight trip to Manila :) Short trips like this would really make me say that Philippines is truly beautiful, di naman tayo nahuhuli sa ibang bansa, only if we will try to discover it :)

Last Night in Town, Dinner at Golden Tea House with family :)



Tonight is bitter-sweet because it is my last night home. Tomorrow I will have to be brave and gather all the confidence that I need to finish the editing of my paper. Target time, I must be able to submit my final draft this December and hopefully by February I will be able to deliver my final defense. Being home made me realize that our town is slowly opening its door to so many opportunities for me in terms of career and business. I can teach or if God willing practice law. Slowly I am immersed as well to some of our little businesses and other matters that needs taking care of such as finances and of course most important of all the health of my mom and dad.

Makoy is already fourth year and soon he will be in college.. I am so proud of him and I am going to miss him when I leave. I enjoyed bonding with our pets cats and dogs alike, cleaning the house, redecorating our kitchen minor cooking here and there but most important of all my biggest project was my room. Turning it all in pink which I think was a success.


Tomorrow, I am going to the university proud and confident knowing that no matter what challenges, successes or failure I always have the back of my family. No matter what problems may come, no matter how many tears may shed from my eyes I know that just thinking the memories of home would give me enough reason to smile, to be happy and to be thankful for. God indeed has many plans for us, and what our wants may not always be in harmony with what is destined for us, the important thing is we tried.

I would say tomorrow would not really be a beginning. It is only a continuation of what I have already started and I cannot wait to make it to the finish line. Cest' La Vie! :)

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Coming Home, Staying Home and Enjoying it


















"There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness."-
Carl Jung

It is from these inspiring words of Carl Jung that I take inspiration to just relax and appreciate the continuity of life, the happiness of being still, the importance of a silent passage in my life.

Just a few months back I am in a situation that is very different from where I am right now, I used to be working while studying for graduate school then I stopped working to focus on graduate school and then I pursued law. Simultaneously during these times I was also performing the role of an only child caught in the duties responsibilities that comes with it; and a lover who is committed to save her relationship that is being challenged by distance and lack of time for each other. With all the plenty of things to do, how do you divide the 24hours for yourself and others, to study, to sleep, to eat, to rest, to read, and etc.


I have been told; and so as I have read that doing so many things at the same time might make me get too tired and end up only stopping from doing everything all at the same time. I did not listen, I was too confident with myself and I did end up getting really tired and frustrated. Frustrated because I haven't finished anything. I got myself too stressed and it affected my health and most of all my relationships with other people, the people who matter in my life.

I realized that I set this very high standard to myself not for the purpose of feeling that sense of accomplishment but because I wanted to please others. I realized that I based my accomplishment from how others perceived me. That girl, the working student, the law student, the responsible daughter and the reliable partner trying to be pleasing in the eyes of everyone. The sad part of it all, being to focus on performing all these roles I lost myself. For quite some time there has been this gap of long pause where all my goals are blurry, I wake up each day not knowing what to do, nothing really to pursue... Just living by the day and passing through the night.


But despite this quiet and long pause, like a long waiting in the darkness for the breaking of the dawn, I realized that there must be a reason why I lost myself in the process while I was doing so many things. This is the time for me to focus on myself, to get to know myself, the things that really matters to me, what makes me truly really happy.


Corita Kent once said, "Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed." Despite this long pause that I am going through, day by day I get to appreciate the beauty of lightness, the simplicity of life and the joy of being at home and with family. Being home lately makes me appreciate the joy of preparing meals, washing the dishes, cleaning the backyard, being useful by doing simple tasks. Very different from the highly taxing tasks and demands of the things that I used to do.

It was only recently that I get to sleep again at least in decent hours, I have time to exercise, to smile, to laugh to simply just be...

Indeed, God has reasons why things happen to our lives. Years back, I never imagined myself stopping from working and studying in order to come home; and just be home. But being myself now looking back I cannot help not to think and tell myself in the past why not?

Life is indeed a full circle, and sometimes a long pause in life is just such as now is just what I need to reassess, to reevaluate, and to seek again.

As Anne Bradstreet once said, "If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome." As I am now taking time to appreciate the winter of my life, I have the spring to look forward to bring me the warmth and promise of sunshine, indefinitely definite.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

When the Music of Life Mellows Down


How did life become so serious? Hmmm well I’d say just now.

I am not saying this to complain, I simply want to ask it to the world and leave my questioning to hit someone with a giant question mark. (?)

I thought that I didn’t seem to miss high school that much when I became a college student until recently. College provided less restrictions and regulations in terms of self-expression, values and faith. Freedom on one hand is not alone, it comes with great responsibilities. When I was granted with more freedom my responsibilities became greater as well. It multiplied twice, thrice and higher. Graduation came along; I became an adult granted with greater freedom and definitely with greater responsibilities. The only more serious thing about responsibility is actually being responsible. To have so many choices and options and still decide to choose the right thing, the valued decision, the moral, the upright. Then suddenly freedom became a serious matter.



Little by little I reminisced my high school days. Maybe because I miss my friends. My friends and I used to make beautiful music together. We have this group formed and from there I met some of my life-long friends. I never was a part of the honor section except during my freshman year in high school. I never made it to the cut off. I was in to studying but not so much with the competition; even if I was not in the honor section, I didn’t neglect my lessons I was often the topnotcher of my section, if not among the top 3; the class president, members of so many clubs and school organizations, English club, R.V.E club, liturgical choir, lector’s guild, youth ministry, rondalla, girl scout you name it most likely I am a member. I graduated not with academic honors but with so many medals in my extra-curricular activities, it rounded to about 18 all in all if I remember it correctly.

I usually come home late from meetings or choir practices. I remember just having fun, just simply fun. When I come home, I’ll have dinner, do my assignment, some light reading of lessons but what I really get excited about is the extra-curricular activities after class hours and one activity in particular, singing. No matter how tired I was the entire day, choir practices relaxed me; calmed me. In fact during my senior year, I often got scolded for compromising my UPCAT exam review to attend choir practices during weekends, forgive my audacity but no regrets for some magical twist of fate I got in not immediately but after a year. Of course not by mere magic, I compensated my lack of diligence in studying with prayer. I sing in my prayer. Thank God he heard me and did not abandon me. With the help of my one whole year in Miriam College, it was God’s way of sending a message to me that is, “I hear you.” In Miriam I got myself into being a member of the liturgical choir as well. In masses I sang and while I sang I still prayed. I never prayed any harder in my life. Hence the singing wasn’t as light as it used to be. This time I compensated my praying while singing with studying. I could not transfer unless my credentials are above average. There is now the turning of the tide.

I cannot remember having the same kind of fun I had in high school when I got in to college. This is not to say I didn’t have fun, life in UP is still the best years of my life. There, I discovered myself, my identity. There I also met the love of my life. I also got to sing with my beloved Likasyan friends during graduation. It was on the other hand different. I couldn’t be as careless and blissful during my teenage years. I always took summer classes to compensate for the minor subjects I took for Political Science. Even though I had more time in college I usually find myself seriously studying not simply by choice but by the circumstances of the situation. Reading about history, politics, and current news and constantly practicing my Spanish. I didn’t realize that I have become more likely a serious person.

I no longer get to sing, and now I miss it I really do. There is one thing I am thankful for though I don’t get to sing anymore. That is the memory of having done it. Yes, the joy of singing, not only as a personal form of leisure or self expression but also for God and most especially having done it with my friends, part of the notes that composes the music in my life.

Monday, November 21, 2011

La Vie En Rose



*** with Patrick during the wedding of Deo and Dimples***

What a great start to wake up listening to a beautiful song. This is one of my favorite "La Vie En Rose" by Louis Armstrong.

It means life through rose colored glasses, literally life in pink! :)

Below is also a video I put together using fuchsia and taupe as theme. There comes a point in every relationship especially for a couple who has been together for seven years to imagine how their dream wedding would be, well at least to me hehe. Since this is my page I took the liberty on imagining how it would be. This is how i pictured mine. Some pictures are originally taken by me while the wedding pictures were borrowed from various resulting images from google image search engine. This is to give credit and acknowledge the copyright of the images that I borrowed. Thank you

Here is the English version copied from: (http://lyricstranslate.com/en/la-vien-en-rose-life-rosy-hues.html)


Life in Rosy Hues

Eyes that gaze into mine,
A smile that is lost on his lips—
That is the unretouched portrait
Of the man to whom I belong.

When he takes me in his arms
And speaks softly to me,
I see life in rosy hues.
He tells me words of love,
Words of every day,
And in them I become something.
He has entered my heart,
A part of happiness
Whereof I understand the reason.
It’s he for me and I for him, throughout life,
He has told me, he has sworn to me, for life.
And from the things that I sense,
Now I can feel within me
My heart that beats.

In endless nights of love,
A great delight that comes about,
The pains and bothers are banished,
Happy, happy to die of love.

When he takes me in his arms
And speaks softly to me,
I see life in rosy hues.
He tells me words of love,
Words of every day,
And in them I become something.
He has entered my heart,
A part of happiness
Whereof I understand the reason.
It’s he for me and I for him, throughout life,
He has told me, he has sworn to me, for life.
And from the things that I sense,
Now I can feel within me
My heart that beats.


Sunday, November 20, 2011

Hello 25!








***Bday present from Nonoys***
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Here goes 25 years, life happens so fast, either it was too fast or perhaps I just enjoyed the ride. Since today is my birthday, I took a pause to recall what have happened in the past 25 years. I just jotted briefly in bullets what I can remember in each year spontaneously. For all the triumphs, and defeats, and the silent times in between, thank you Lord God for everything, to the coming years, hopefully to the next 25 more, la vie est belle :)

1986: 0- Birth; my mother participated in the EDSA People Power not knowing at the time that I was already in her womb
1987: 1- from age 1 to 2 I really don’t think that I have any recollection yet.
1988: 2- they said that I giggle a lot whenever I see Birchtree Milk commercial.
1989: 3- age that I started to have some sort of recollection; first in mind is a lady always on our TV set, with very short and curly hair with big glasses, must be former Pres. Cory, my parents always watched the news, having no siblings, they were my only company. I remember being fond of Cindy's spaghetti and as well as their playpen
1990: 4- Kindergarten; Most Behave Awardee, back in the days when I was less verbose :)
1991: 5- Mt. Pinatubo, I thought that the ashes were snow; learned how to read
1992: 6- FVR became the President
1993: 7- Grade 1-My first birthday celebration at Shakeys, first pair of red shoes
1994: 8- Grade 2- first crush with a classmate, apple cut for hairstyle; I started thinking that someday I wanted to become a lawyer
1995: 9- In Grade 3, I have no idea why I was elected class muse hehe, I had my first period. I met my two best friends for life Emma and Red
1996: 10- Grade 4 from having straight hair, my waves started to develop, I started keeping a journal
1997: 11- Summer, first time to travel abroad, from Japan connecting flight to US and an accidental short landing in Alaska on our way back to the Phil. due to engine trouble- I fell in love with NYC
1998: 12- Grade 6, was class president, got my first heels only two inches
1999: 13- First Year High, challenging years, character formation, 1st time to receive a love letter hehe. Loved wearing pearls. 1st time to write a poem, was very poor in math
2000: 14- Second Year High, class president again hehe, collected plenty of pocket books, I gave up on math
2001: 15- Third Year High, still class president, I started to really like Social Studies as a subject and so as English
2002: 16- Breaking Groundz Concert Youth Ministry Project, singing became my passion, my musical director said that I sounded like Jaya, I met my life-long high school friends till this day; Girl Scout Camping unforgettable
2003: 17- Miriam College Years, opening of many doors, Dormitoryana years in Katipunan
2004: 18- cut my hair really short like a boy’s haircut. Journey in UP began, my memorable 18th B-day Celebration at SBYC, loved color purple, member of NBSB( No Boyfriend Since Birth) hehe – 1st time to be a College Scholar; first time to vote, first heart break
2005: 19- I met Patrick, my 1st boyfriend and still is up to this day, no longer member of NBSB hehe, first time to ride in the LRT, I started to really like the color pink
2006: 20- No longer in the teen bracket, officially became member of LIKAS, first time to own a Dalmatian :)
2007: 21- started sporting Bob cut, really enjoyed college years both socially and academically :)
2008: 22- Centennial Graduation, first job as MCHS faculty; applied for MA program
2009: 23- continued with MA;applied in law schools, Beginnings was published at PDI’s Young blood
2010: 24- Summer a challenging year to our family; entered law at Beda, Manila; 2 poems were published in "2011 Bucketlist'; very gratetful to the Lord for Daddy's recovery and continiously getting better and better each day :)
2011: 25- second year law at Beda, Alabang (currently on leave); preparing for defense of thesis next year
2012: 26- Que Sera, Sera what ever will be will be, the future is not ours to see, que sera sera, what will be, will be :) Anything is possible! :)
“Cherish every blessing that you hold, aimlessly seek for what’s still untold,
take little steps slowly at a time and enjoy every moment like riddles that rhyme.”- from a poem called 'Time' by Vmmcruz

Friday, November 18, 2011

If A Friend Were To Be A Flower


If a friend were to be a flower
Certainly in my mind there would be no other
A daisy would hint to me a smile
While waving at me from a thousand mile

It would soothe my sadness and melancholy
It would brighten my day with cheerfulness and glee
Through its intense color of white, pink or yellow
Perhaps it would whisper in my ear a simple hello

Oh dear flower friend I hope you could keep me company
Endow me a beautiful sight like a honey bee
If indeed a friend were to be a flower
Without doubt in my mind it would be you and no other

-Valerie May Cruz
June 23, 2009