It was a kind of self-(re)discovery, an understanding and acceptance of human limitations and the acknowledgment that there is Superior and Higher Being who is in-charge of us, seeing our every action and directing our path. It is not the kind of acceptance that surrenders or gives up but rather an acceptance that sometimes the best thing to do is not to act but to be still, to listen to what the Lord's plans are in our lives. If we are always active, preoccupied and thinking of the next thing to do, definitely we will not be hearing His voice. From the Book of Proverbs 19:21 "Many are the plans in a person's heart but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."
The past years have been a constant struggle, I have always felt like going against some force it is only lately that everything seem to fall in to place. While plenty of questions still linger, there are now more answers and less to ask for. So now I continue on my journey of self-(re)discovery, taking a step backward and going deeper within myself. Hopefully in a few more months or maybe next year, or few more somehow I can say with some degree of certainty, ah at last I know His plans for me. In time, in God's time I know I will get there.