The past few days have been nothing but days of relentless waiting and suspense. A year of hard work and hanging on to dreams is slowly becoming a cold block of reality. Failure is nearby and I have yet to pull myself up, physically, mentally, emotionally; and most of all spiritually. How do I begin all over again? Looking from the vast nothingness of my blank stare, I felt tired.
There is this pinching pain in my backbone due to the lengthy time spent on sitting, reading, memorizing, highlighting, taking notes and of course the stress that goes with it. On the other hand being tired is a good sign for this simply means I fought hard in battle and I did my best. Only to learn that best in not always what is best, for there are times I have to become a beast in order to survive. From the wrenched and exhausted physical composure of my body, I feel the fangs and wools growing in my heart. I have gotten much stronger, learned and wise. I learned it the hard way. I know many of 'us' learned it the hard way.
The field of law is harsh. Far from the the perception provided for the audience by legal series we watch on the television. Law is not for the weakling, not for the fainthearted, not for the naive. Law is not all about justice, human rights, equality and fairness. Law is also about injustice, human rights violations, inequality and unfairness.
As a simpleton walking in to the the pillars of the institution that would teach me the theories necessary to pass the bar, I simultaneously learned the 'laws behind the laws'. It is okay if things are not all black and white, it is okay that there is doubt, it is okay that things are unclear, just make it to the cut off. Survival of the fittest is the name of the game.
But I strongly believe that the game in the field of law does not have to be played this way. I strongly believe that those who did not survive in the survival of the fittest race are not fit, perhaps they are just not the the fittest. None of them should go to waste.
Robert Frost once said, "two roads diverged on the wood... and I have taken the road less traveled by and that has make all the difference." Just like him two roads are in my path as of this moment, more of two exit doors, one is either to quit, retire, pursue other fields. Why must I endure these?
The other one is to pursue the battle, on a different ground, grab back my sword and shield; and finish the race. To be a lawyer is not to be defeated once, but the endurance to be defeated many times and to try to win the case on appeal or up to the Supreme Court.
A lawyer is not determined by the institution in his diploma, "a lawyer is a lawyer, no matter where he came from." To be an lawyer is to pass the bar, and to pass the bar is to be taught well because that leads to learning well.
This is the road I choose to travel, bitter sweet words one might say, yes bitter sweet, for unlike a cold perfect statue, I am a warm imperfect individual, vulnerable, with life. As life flows in me, life must go on. To all who stumbled on their way to the pursuit of law, this is not the end, this is only the beginning, reality check let us make it to the bar, three years from now. Fyt fyt!
There is this pinching pain in my backbone due to the lengthy time spent on sitting, reading, memorizing, highlighting, taking notes and of course the stress that goes with it. On the other hand being tired is a good sign for this simply means I fought hard in battle and I did my best. Only to learn that best in not always what is best, for there are times I have to become a beast in order to survive. From the wrenched and exhausted physical composure of my body, I feel the fangs and wools growing in my heart. I have gotten much stronger, learned and wise. I learned it the hard way. I know many of 'us' learned it the hard way.
The field of law is harsh. Far from the the perception provided for the audience by legal series we watch on the television. Law is not for the weakling, not for the fainthearted, not for the naive. Law is not all about justice, human rights, equality and fairness. Law is also about injustice, human rights violations, inequality and unfairness.
As a simpleton walking in to the the pillars of the institution that would teach me the theories necessary to pass the bar, I simultaneously learned the 'laws behind the laws'. It is okay if things are not all black and white, it is okay that there is doubt, it is okay that things are unclear, just make it to the cut off. Survival of the fittest is the name of the game.
But I strongly believe that the game in the field of law does not have to be played this way. I strongly believe that those who did not survive in the survival of the fittest race are not fit, perhaps they are just not the the fittest. None of them should go to waste.
Robert Frost once said, "two roads diverged on the wood... and I have taken the road less traveled by and that has make all the difference." Just like him two roads are in my path as of this moment, more of two exit doors, one is either to quit, retire, pursue other fields. Why must I endure these?
The other one is to pursue the battle, on a different ground, grab back my sword and shield; and finish the race. To be a lawyer is not to be defeated once, but the endurance to be defeated many times and to try to win the case on appeal or up to the Supreme Court.
A lawyer is not determined by the institution in his diploma, "a lawyer is a lawyer, no matter where he came from." To be an lawyer is to pass the bar, and to pass the bar is to be taught well because that leads to learning well.
This is the road I choose to travel, bitter sweet words one might say, yes bitter sweet, for unlike a cold perfect statue, I am a warm imperfect individual, vulnerable, with life. As life flows in me, life must go on. To all who stumbled on their way to the pursuit of law, this is not the end, this is only the beginning, reality check let us make it to the bar, three years from now. Fyt fyt!
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