Persistence

A couple of years ago, I wrote an essay about 'beginnings', about starting all over again. How anxious I was to leave my comfort zone in order to pursue my destiny. Now I think it's time to write a continuation of it, to talk about pushing through, staying, keeping constant, hanging on in order to finish what I have started. The word "continue" being the operative word or more appropriately 'persistence'.

Ideally when you are very passionate about something, your enthusiasm and optimism is soaring high but just as anything that diminishes with time or goes down with gravity there comes a time when your overflowing zeal will become constant. That gap or space in between the time you've started and that space towards attaining your goal. Things do not always go smoothly, sometimes challenges can overwhelm you, sometimes you'll meet people who'll make things harder than you can ever imagine and then you'll find yourself in the brink of either giving up or to just leave things hanging to begin a new start because you quench for that passionate zeal you have when you have just started.

That feeling deep within you where the flame has gotten tepid not dead but just warm or even cold. You feel drifting or floating nothing seems to be ever new but you know you still have your eye on the prize. During this time one thing comes very importantly, to me that is no longer HOPE, hope remains there, it was there from the very beginning but now FAITH comes to do it's job. Faith is that kind of belief and principle that you strongly believe in something without demanding proof. It is that faith you have in yourself, in your capacity to finish it, the faith that people have in you and most of all faith that God is with you all the way.

When I decided to leave teaching in order to pursue law, it was a kind of a daredevil act, I have placed a lot of things at stake although financially it was something my parents prepared for beforehand but it would be a very long financial engagement for them, I needed to quit teaching for the meantime, put my Master's on hold and it also threatened a lot of my relations. A lot of things were sacrificed, not that I was complaining but slowly I can feel that things are getting heavy and heavier because I knew I was really working on it.

One thing I realized at time you reached this point as you are on your way to reaching your goal, there is no need to start a new or to quit on it simply because nothing seems to be happening but one this is certain, you may take a 'REST.' A time to reflect, to assess and to calculate how much you have already put in, how much time is still necessary? to patch up on damaged relations and to pack up self-confidence once again. Sometimes when we focus too much we lose the joy on doing things, we get disgruntled, blame people, blame the circumstances, or even God, we tend to neglect our relationship with Him. We often ask why me? I work hard, why not others who don't even want it as much?

When we have ample time for things, it is the only time we get to value the things that we have, even the smallest and lightest of it, to enjoy nature and little blessings that come our way. We realize God does not give us challenges we cannot handle, and if He gave us something that we think is too much for us to handle, then it must mean that He has great confidence in us.

After taking some rest, I know in my heart I am more than willing to continue, to push through to finish it. I am very thankful to all the people who kept their faith and most importantly to God, this month will be a very big month, thesis-defense and by June I am back to law school and teaching at the same time. It is my first time to teach in the tertiary level. After a long pause, I am very excited to share the knowledge I acquired from being a student of History while pursuing law at the same time. I am very eager to learn more, to earn a little, to feel useful.

There truly is a virtue in waiting. Now it is time to get up on the waiting area, to stretch some muscles, to sweat, to analyze and to think. Soon enough, in God's time I will get there.

“Patience, grasshopper," said Maia. "Good things come to those who wait."

"I always thought that was 'Good things come to those who do the wave,'" said Simon. "No wonder I've been so confused all my life.”

― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

Can We Still Be Friends by Mandy Moore

***Just sharing this very cute yet meaningful song by Mandy Moore, a remake of Todd Rungren's song. It's sad for love stories to end but I also believe that some former lovers can also be the best of friends, if only we keep an open mind.


All's well that ends well :)***

We can't play this game anymore, but

Can we still be friends?
Things just can't go on like before, but
Can we still be friends?


We had something to learn
Now it's time for the wheel to turn
Things are said one by one
Before you know it's all gone


Let's admit we made a mistake, but
Can we still be friends?
Heartbreak's never easy to take, but
Can we still be friends?


It's a strange sad affair
Sometimes seems like we just don't care
Don't waste time feeling hurt
We've been through hell together


La la la la, la la la la
Can we still be friends?
Can we still get together sometime?


We awoke from our dream
Things are not always what they seem
Memories linger on
It's like a sweet sad old song

TIME

TODAY WILL BECOME YESTERDAY TOMORROW
WHAT WILL HAPPEN THE NEXT DAY NOBODY KNOWS
THE SEED THAT YOU HAVE PLANTED WILL SOON GROW
CHERISH EVERY MOMENT AND GO WITH THE FLOW

LEAD YOUR OWN LIFE, YOU HOLD YOUR OWN CLOCK
MOVE FORWARD, DO NOT BE STUCK LIKE A ROCK
THE SUN WILL SET BUT SOON WILL RISE
TIME PASSES BY RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES

YOUR DREAMS LIE ON YOUR HANDS
YOU CAN BUILD YOUR OWN CASTLE OF SAND
OPEN YOUR EYES TO A CLEARER VIEW
THAT WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE PROFOUND AND NEW

YOU ARE A HUMAN WITH SO MUCH CAPACITY
 YOU KNOW THE MEANING OF DIGNITY AND INTEGRITY
YOU KNOW HOW TO DIFFERENTIATE GOOD FROM BAD
BECAUSE YOU RE CREATED IN THE IMAGE OF GOD

EVERYBODY IS GIVEN THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF TIME
TO BE KNOWN AND FAMOUS, THE OPPURTUNITY TO SHINE
THE TIME TO LEARN FROM MISTAKES, TO BE DOWN FOE A WHILE
BUT AFTER ALL THAT, YOU AR BOUND TO TRAVEL A THOUSAND MILE

“TIME IS GOLD”, WHAT PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY
IF YOU ARE YOUNG, ENJOY BEING YOUTH AND PLAY
LOOK AT THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF LIFE AND DO NOT BE DISMAY
FOR THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A BRAND NEW DAY

HOLD ON TO WHAT YOU HAVE
BUT STILL AIM FOR THE NEXT LEVEL
TAKE THE STEPS ONE AT A TIME
AND ENJOY EVERY MOMENTS LIKE RIDDLES THAT RHYME

VALERIE MAY M. CRUZ

New Version of Me

THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I FELT DREADFUL
BECAUSE LIFE SEEMS SO SOROWFUL
BUT THEN I WOKE UP FEELING BRAND NEW
THEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN I DON’T FEEL SO BLUE

I TOLD MYSELF TO BE JUST SIMPLY ME
AND I ASKED MYSELF; CAN I BE THE NEW VERSION OF ME?
THEN I REALIZE THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME
BECAUSE GOOD AND POSITIVE THINGS ARE WHAT I SEE

VALERIE MAY M.CRUZ
written sometime in 2005

LOVE

IT’S YOU AND YOUR LOVE THAT SETS ME FREE
THE ONE WHO GIVES ME HAPPINESS AND GLEE
THE ONE WHO KEEPS ME STURDY LIKE A TREE
THE ONE ONE WHO KEEPS ME CALM LIKE A CUP OF TEA

THIS LOVELY FEELING DEEP WITHIN
IS THE REASON THAT KEEPS ME SMILING
THAT WHICH MENDED MY BROKEN HEART AND SPIRIT
IT PAVED THE WAY FOR A FRESH START

YOU ARE ONE OF THE  REASON
THAT MADE ME LOOK AT LIFE WITH SO MUCH APPRECIATION
THE ONE WHO PROVIDED ME AN INSPIRATION
THE ONE WHO GAVE MY LIFE RHYTHM AND MOTION


I AM GRATEFUL THAT I HAVE FOUND YOU
BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT ME THAT LIFE IS TRUE
YOU TURNED MY SKIES INTO LIGHTER BLUE
ONCE AGAIN ALLOW ME THANK YOU

VALERIE MAY M. CRUZ
written during high school years- undated

Date with my father :)

Rib eye for Daddy, sea burger for me :) father-daughter bonding :) 

Daddy, thank you po sa afternoon date, I had a wonderful time, a heart to heart talk about dreams, goals, love, law, future anything under the sun and etc... he said like a sailing ship chart your course, and follow your heart, do whatever it is that will make you truly happy- I guess I'm bound to sail away from the safe shore again soon :) 

Surviving Chicken Pox

During the entire time I had chicken pox, these fellows kept me company and prevented me from

going insane from. Happy to be well again :)

Fade Away

I believe that change is a fact of life

But I do not believe in total perish

Just as almost anything that gets old

Love too sometimes just fade away

To fade away is to not say goodbye

But to simply camouflage like a faded dye

To prefer silence rather than spiteful words

To reminisce someday that there's more good to it than the bad

To fade away is not really to go away
You still want to be there but not in the same way
Just as what was once bright yellow that turns to beige
From lovers to friends; but never as total strangers

So this is not to end but to continue with life
To go on living, loving, and believing; not in strife
Let this not be an end, a farewell nor a goodbye
But an appreciation for everything and for letting me fly

Image is from: http://flickrhivemind.net/User/Eirreannach/Interesting

For the love of nails and of art...

Trying to go to a happier place i painted strawberries on my nails and toes making them was quite arduous but upon seeing the finished product it was worth it. :)

little kikay hands but don't let them fool you, they are definitely working hands :)  

thank you little feet, we've been together to a lot of trips and you never fail to bring me to my destination :)

Mamaterial Girl!- My collection of accessories :)

I made it my plan that today I'll sort out my cabinet and evaluate the things I have accumulated over the years. I've been away from home for such a long time that this is the only opportunity I have to fix and rearrange them.

It was like a therapy, I was able to reconnect with many of my old things. Those things that I've forgotten I have. I am a woman of bags, accessories and etc. Simplicity isn't really my style when it comes to my fashion statement. I like dangling earrings, big rings, bangles and gold jewelries.

Perhaps this can be attributed to some of my favorite fashion icons like Elizabeth Taylor, Sarah Jessica Parker, Beyonce and Jennifer Lopez. I like to put things together that doesn't really go together but somewhat creates a statement once your done. I believe that fashion need not to be expensive, I appreciate accessories of all sort. What is important is that it is an expression of your style and it adds up to your confidence and self-esteem.

I am also not afraid of heights, I love heels and studded flat forms. I also love gladiator sandals and alike. These things have somewhat became a part of me I'll often be seen with them. To me these are my things that make it really fun being a girl! ^_^

Putting these up is just something I really enjoyed doing today, it feels great to know that your stuffs are organized or somewhat at least hehe, hope I can keep it neat for a while :)

My collection of sandals and shoes

I have soft spot for anything pink specially bags :)

Dooney and Bourke bags :)

Thanks to my Aunties from US for sending these.

I love using them when I am wearing Jeans

Basic Blacks!

These are must haves because it can carry my heavy readings, 

my laptop and law books

Party bags

small shoulder bags, I usually use big ones but these are 

also must haves :)

My collection fashion earrings, ever since my I grew my hair long

I love wearing these

I also love handcuff bracelets and charm bracelets

I love to pair my big earrings with one of these

and I am good to go

Can never go out without a watch :)

I love gold accessories, even if most think that it is more for

mature age, I've been used to wearing them from my younger years:)

an influence by my mother

eyeglasses, I love red frames and sunglasses 

to protect eyes from sunlight and of course

it adds detail to any fashion statement!

Unending Love by Rabindranath Tagore

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times…
In life after life, in age after age, forever.
My spellbound heart has made and remade the necklace of songs,
That you take as a gift, wear round your neck in your many forms,
In life after life, in age after age, forever.

Whenever I hear old chronicles of love, it's age-old pain,
It's ancient tale of being apart or together.
As I stare on and on into the past, in the end you emerge,
Clad in the light of a pole-star piercing the darkness of time:
You become an image of what is remembered forever.

You and I have floated here on the stream that brings from the fount.
At the heart of time, love of one for another.
We have played along side millions of lovers, shared in the same
Shy sweetness of meeting, the same distressful tears of farewell-
Old love but in shapes that renew and renew forever.

Today it is heaped at your feet, it has found its end in you
The love of all man’s days both past and forever:
Universal joy, universal sorrow, universal life.
The memories of all loves merging with this one love of ours –
And the songs of every poet past and forever.

Another Pink Saturday!

Just enjoying my pink shades, pink bag, floral dress and slippers! I love how I can still wear semi-casual clothing while enjoying a cup of coffee and the beach despite the heat of the sun and sand. January is a somehow a cooler month for a tropical country like the Philippines. Only in Subic! Hope everyone had a fine weekend. Can't wait for February- love, love, love! :)

Inspired by Ms. Kris: My humble abode what keeps me home ^_^

As the saying goes, "there is no place like home", but I believe that I am in the best place in the world when I am in my room! :) A place where I can just be, to relax, to rest or to reflect.

Ever since I saw the interiors of Ms. Kris Aquino's home in the September issue of Yes Magazine, I have always longed to redecorate my room similar to her's. Not of course in the exact same way because first of all I don't have the budget hehe, let me just get that clear. :)

I just wanted it to exude the same splash of colors and feminine touch. Although my favorite color is pink, I liked how purple, red and green were combined together with some touches of pink on the side. It looks very modern yet elegant, I like how it seemed to reflect the character of the lady of the house.

So I tried to incorporate items which includes colors like what I saw in the magazine, my bed sheet has a touch of green and purple, the stuff toys as well, but since pink is my favorite color, my curtains were pink and pretty much the rest of the other stuffs. Perhaps it may not look exactly the same but nonetheless I am happy with the result and I can feel that the I was able to successfully apply my inspiration.

Here it is :)

The 2nd, 3rd and 4th photos were that of Ms. Kris Aquino's home as shown in Yes Magazine (Sept. 2010 issue- pp 48 ,82 and 62 respectively).

Yes Magazine cover from:
http://showbiznest.blogspot.com/2011/08/kris-aquino-opens-her-new-home-at-yes.html

Cynthia Almario (co-owned by her sister Ivy) of Atelier Almario handled the renovation of the two units owned by Ms. Kris in One Roxas Triangle in Makati :)

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My room starts from here ^_^

I miss SBCA-School of Law :)

Today like any regular day of the week, I woke up, had a cup of coffee and raisin bread; but somehow it seemed that an angel whispered to my ear, make a phone call the one that you've been dreading to do.

It's been several months since I left Alabang to come home, to rest, to edit my paper and to just stay home. When I left, I left and did not come back just yet. I didn't make a call either to check if my grades were already released. I thought I'll wait till it all come out.

That day is today and I am so thankful to the Lord for sending me the good news. I passed in all my subjects except for one LTD (Land, Titles and Deeds) :) But as the saying goes, one cannot have it all. I passed all the others which include, Property, Sales, Negotiable Instruments, Criminal Procedure, Election Law and Banking. I am really grateful because this does not happen all the time. In some cases, failed subjects are at least two or three, sometimes even more.

Suddenly I really miss the Beda, Alabang community. I miss being a law student. The school, the streets, my friends and classmates, the professors and even the staffs. It is not a perfect place of course, not in a utopian kind of way but it is a very good community which encourages growth and development. I have realized that unlike other people I am not the type that does not work very well under pressure, and Beda, Alabang provides that for those who wish to become lawyers but not necessarily racing their way to the bar. I realized that the study of law is like drinking wine, the more slowly you take your sip, the more you enjoy it, the better it gets.

To me without any bias or whatsoever, even if I have only been there for a semester it is one of the best places to be. The academic environment is truly inspiring, the students help each other; and the professors despite the hardships and challenges they cause us, they are very motivating and they teach just as how professors should be.

Truth of the matter is, as of now, I still have doubts if the field of law is really for me... But what transpired today is a great motivation, to do better, to not give up.

For the meantime, I still have my paper to finish, this occasion is just a great event. It somehow uplifted my tired spirit, I can tell myself somehow that despite all my setbacks in the past, despite all my doubts I actually did something good :)

Enter the Water Dragon, 2012!

Welcome Year of the Water Dragon! In celebration of the Chinese new year festivities we enjoyed some dimsum, dumplings and tea for dinner. Feeling gracious for the meal but with a very heavy belly it kept me awake till the wee hours of the night.

On the eve of the holiday I made some cleaning up of my dresser, throwing away old make up, nail polish and etc that clutter my "prettifying corner'. It feels good to see it nice and neat, makes me want to wake up and get up early.

New Year came a little early for me this year, caught in between thoughts (of wanting to be/ not wanting to be) and being sick my realizations came a little late but just in time for this special holiday. Chinese tradition is very rich and it is a great part of our Filipino tradition. I have very high respect and appreciation for their influence and I am glad that there are positive predictions for my sign this year. ^_^ I am keeping my spirits high that indeed it will be a good year for me.

Top 12 realizations at 25

1. I may be sociable but I am really an introvert, hence after mingling in the day I need some lonely hour or so at night to charge up.
2. I like staying home I am very homebound. I think I am a closet full-time housewife want to be :)
3. I like fancy and cute stuffs but not necessarily the branded or expensive ones.
4.My things consist mostly of pinks and reds, I love both color so much.
5. I love to eat more than my desire to be sexy- I'll just go for healthy. Eating is fun!
6. I don't work well under pressure, I'll just go for slowly but surely.
7. I care about what people thinks, sometimes too much. This needs some working on.
8. I miss my old job: Once a teacher, always a teacher- by heart :)
9. My father and I actually clicks, he is cool just as my mother.
10. Love conquers all. Be it in family, friendship or relationship.
11.A love without chains will never have to break free.
12. Life is good, but much better if lived with a close relationship with God. Life with Him makes it complete.

Hey it's only January, there's more for February. :)

Overcoming the blues on a Sunday!

Today I woke up feeling once again the sharp stabbing pain on my lower back, perhaps due to stress. It can also be attributed to the fact that I spent most days sitting at home writing or just staying tuned on the impeachment trial of the Chief Justice, at 9:30 I decided I'll won't join my family for mass, I'll just attend a later one in the afternoon.

But I think an angel whispered to my ears, attitude and disposition can over any kind of pain and blues, and so I did. I got up, showered, iron my hair and put my make-up ritual and wore my glitzy heels. It feels great to be able to hear the mass with my family and have steak date lunch with my father.

Thank you Lord for opening my eyes, not to see the negatives but to be able to count my blessings! :)

Saturday!

Delicious grilled liempo, milkfish and lorro fish for lunch. Mabuhay ice cream for dessert and a little fun at Lighthouse with family! Saturday is complete :)